Im so sad..?

I think you need to talk to a friend, if you have one, if not maybe you could find a minister to talk to. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, if you have a family member you can talk with, you need to do that. It is obvious that you need to talk with someone about all of these emotions that are in you. If you believe in God, please pray and ask for guidance. I really think that if you can, the best advice would be to seek medical help. I hate that you are so down on yourself. I am sure you are a sweet young lady and are very lovable.